As I grow older, I find myself increasingly falling prey to ennui. Why does this happen when I still haven't accomplished even half of what I wanted to and life continues to hold infinite possibilities? Is it because I am no longer the unfettered bird of youth and the single state? Or, is it because I am unable to strike a balance between individual ambitions and social responsibilities/obligations? Or is it just a case of screwed up hormones from stressful events?
Whatever the reason, this intense weariness is anything but life affirming!
From within the confines of my relatively limited knowledge I wonder if my ennui is the product of a lifetime of wandering blind taking life as it comes instead of working to a set purpose? Wandering blind definitely has its joys but it also means swallowing a lot of crap which can dim your capacity for finding joy and sunshine.
When youthful energy, courage and optimism is spent, scattered, fragemented in this way, can ennui be far behind?
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