Sometimes, life appears to be a series of mistakes, some more dangerous than others and some funny and amusing. How can one live a life free of mistakes and blunders? That is impossible. Nevertheless, we strive to take the best decisions, find the perfect partner, achieve perfect figures, complexion, and health, build the perfect house with perfect interiors, achieve financial perfection with no debts or bad investments…I can fill an infinite number of pages explaining all aspects of life that we wish to perfect and preserve.
Looking back at my life and all the major decisions I took, they appeared right at that moment, I could not have chosen anything else, those decisions led to more decisions and every time, I knew I was doing the right thing. I knew I had given it serious thought and chose brilliantly. Then there came another point in life when it was time to choose again, a rather difficult decision that would influence every aspect of my life. After I made my choice and went through the process of implementing it, there was a drastic change in my circumstances. To say I do not like the change is an understatement. I am aware that there is always a period of settling in when a major change occurs, however, I am unsure if I will even get through this period successfully.
So now, in hindsight, I question every major decision that I took in the past as those decisions carved the path to my current circumstances. So, this brings me to my next question. Is there such a thing as a perfect decision or judgment? Similarly, are mistakes absolute or relative?
If something that was truly thought to be a brilliant idea at a certain moment in life turns out to be the starting point for an undesirable culmination, how do you make peace with it? Do you tell yourself that you have been blundering along the paths of life for the longest time possible or do you console yourself with the idea that you could not have foreseen that your decisions would not necessarily take you down the narrow path that you had in mind. On the contrary, every step you take opens up infinite possibilities and every single choice and action, no matter how small determines which of those possibilities is transformed into your reality.
This brings me back to the question of why mistakes are so hard to accept and why the world in general works hard at avoiding making mistakes and fails dismally at it. Let me try to answer this with an example. If I buy a bottle of cheap wine with no qualms about the money I spend on it and it turns out to be a pathetic choice, I can accept it was a mistake and throw it out after the first sip. On the other hand, if I buy a bottle of expensive wine with money that I can ill afford, simply because I badly wanted a good glass of wine that day and it turns out to be pathetic, will I be able to throw it out nonchalantly after the first sip? I highly doubt it!
The bigger the impact of a decision on my life, the harder it will be to accept that it was a mistake. In addition, a mistake is relative to time, place and circumstances. The only way to find out if something we set out to do is a mistake or not is by first doing it. There is no substitute for experience; even education is only a poor approximation of experience. So the world can try all it likes to prevent mistakes from occurring but it is hopeless unless there is a total sublimation of ego and willingness to accept other experiences as valid and learn constantly from them. Even were this achieved, it is still not a fool proof solution as the human mind is too unique to classify and categorize its experiences and live accordingly.
When this is the case, why do we even try to look for foolproof solutions and obsess over making the right decisions? Why, when we realize we have made a mistake do we struggle so hard to accept it? In fact the sooner we see the mistake for what it is, relative to its tangential aspects, the better off we will be. Do we really need to waste time justifying our decisions, look to salvage something from the situation or berate others and ourselves for making a mistake?
Would not life be far less stressful if we looked upon decision making not as a “mistake proof for life requirement” but as something relevant to where we stand today? In the same way, when something turns out to be a mistake, can we simply pick up our lessons and move on without giving ourselves grief about it?
(I am talking about personal decisions and mistakes and not political or industrial ruthlessness and similar other cases that show a reckless disregard for human/environmental safety and wellbeing)
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